Are you your worst enemy?

No.


Our worst enemy is the voice in our head. We are the one that hears that voice.That voice sounds like us. But it isn't us. How can we know that for sure? We can hear things when we are born - before we're born actually. But we aren't born able to speak. We're born wordless.


We are the hearer, not the speaker.


The voice in the head says things we've picked up as we've grown up. Most of us feel not good enough in some way. Most of us feel insecure about a part of us. Insecurity is like ice cream. It comes in different flavours:

  • Vanilla - the most common insecurity is money. We're not earning enough, we've not got enough, it's going to run out.

  • Chocolate - almost as popular as vanilla and often mixed in with it - not good looking/tall/thin/muscly enough.

  • Strawberry - not a good enough parent, turning into our own parents, not spending enough time with our kids, deficient in some way.

  • Strawberry and raisins - like strawberry with a twist - not a good enough adoptive parent. Less popular and rarer. Not trauma informed enough, lost, out of control.

  • Rum and raisin - insecure because we're adopted. No right to be on the planet. Unloveable.


We keep our insecurities locked away in the freezer because we don't want people to know how we feel. We're ashamed of feeling like we feel and desperately want to change it.

Well it's time to bring our ice cream into the warmth of our hearts and the light of awareness.

Where it melts over time to reveal the truth of who we are.


Listen to the short podcast Are you your worst critic? on this link


Links to other podcasts since the last blog post:


Adoptive mom and coach Gayle Swift on Being Who Our Kids Need Us To Be


Mental health professional Imani Seunarine on Helping Our Kids Open Up


Some more interesting links:

Adopted as a baby in the 1960’s, becoming a backing vocalist to well known bands in the 80s, and getting sober at 22, Zara takes us on her journey to uncover the truth about her history in one woman show based on her book


Podcast from Child and Youth Permanency Council of Canada

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