N for Natural happiness

How can I make sure my child naturally happy?

Your just want your child to be happy. This article is about improving your understanding of happiness. Because the better you understand happiness, the better you’ll be able to explain what happiness to your son or daughter.

So what do I mean by natural happiness? It's very simple, okay. It's about the fact that we are all born happy. Now, as soon as I say that, I know that there's going to be some questions you're going to say, well, when my baby arrived into the world, he was screaming or she was quiet, or she was in pain or she yelled at her lungs out. You're going to say something along those lines, that's what mums say to me when I talk about born happiness. 

So what I mean by natural happiness is that baby doesn't have a negative voice in his head or her head saying that she needs to do anything to be happy. So if the baby had one of those little bands on that they have and hospitals, you know the little plastic bands, the baby doesn't look at that hand, look at the wrist and say, ‘Oh, I wish I wish that was a Rolex or a Tag Carrera. That'll make me happy.’ The little baby who's a little bit older, maybe starting to toddle, almost crawling, the baby doesn't turn around and look at the nappy and say, ‘Does my bum look big in this?’ And the baby doesn't say when it's starting to toddle, doesn't say, ‘I'll be happy when I get to that sofa’ in the same way as adults say, ‘I'll be happy when I get that job promotion.’ The baby doesn't have any of that. It doesn't have any negative self-talk. It doesn't, he or she doesn't, have any criticism. Any little parrot on the shoulder saying ‘you can't do that’. The baby doesn't need to go to an inspirational talk to learn how to walk. The baby doesn't need anything from the world outside it, him or her, to be happy, the baby is born happy. 

All those things, all that negative voice in our head, that only comes from the world. That comes from the world around us. And then we take that in and we start listening to that voice in our head. So, my question for you is what's in your head? That isn't your thought, isn't your negative thought. It's something that you've picked up from something that somebody said as you were growing up. 

So for me, I think of the bullying that I suffered when I was at school. So when I was a little kid, when I was very small I used to suck my thumb so my thumb was around, so my teeth job kind of pushed forward. So I had protruding teeth. So I was called all sorts of horrible names: bugsy, ratty, rodent boy, all sorts of horrible names. And that negative voice in the head that started me thinking that I was some sort of freak, that happened because of the words that I was subject to, the bullying and the name calling that I was subject to. But that isn't me. I wasn't born with that negative voice in my head that said that I was essentially ugly I guess. So, what is it that's in your head that isn't true and that isn't you? Because you were born happy. Natural happiness means that happiness is innate. It’s built into our systems. It’s who we are. Children’s happiness is natural.

Simon Benn Children's Happiness Expert

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