L for Love

How do I teach my child to love himself?

Parents often ask how they can teach their children to love themselves. They’re  worried about the fact that their child says negative things about himself or herself. In order to help your children love themselves we have to love ourselves first. So this article is all about  self-love.

So obviously we love our kids. We love our family, we love our pets. Today we're going to talk about a little bit more about that feeling of love. So what came to me last week when I was thinking about this was that one morning I woke up and I wasn't fully awake. And I was still in that really sort of cozy, comfy, slightly woozy not woken up state so I was stumbling slightly around the bedroom drawing the curtains and I was just in a feeling of real warmth and contentment and love. 

Now just talking about it makes me feel kind of squishy and soft and lovely inside and that's what I mean by that feeling of love. What is that? What is that? Well, it's the feeling, what is that feeling? It’s the feeling for me, the feeling before the voice in my head wakes up. So I was awake, physically, but mentally I wasn't awake. I wasn't planning my day. I wasn't worrying about worrying about Coronavirus and missing the swimming pool and missing friends and missing restaurants and pubs and going out. I wasn't thinking what I was going to do on my live with you. I wasn't thinking at all. 

And if you think about that, then kids are far more in touch with that space, aren't they? They're far more in love, as in, in love rather than in thought. They don't have anything on their mind a lot of the time, that just in the moment, in the moment in love, not worrying, not thinking. They don't have a worry in the world, that's what we often say, isn't it? And isn't that a lovely space. And because they have less worries and they spend the less time in worry, it's really easy to get the back to that place very quickly. Because they've spent less time away from love, and in thought, in analysis in what if-ing, in anxiety, in worrying about the future. 

So, that's why when a child tells me that they can love themselves forever now they know about this this juicer mind-set tool, this ultimate feeling machine that helps kids feel good, that connects with a feeling of love within me. And it just feels absolutely lovely. That feeling is in us all the time. We were born without it, we're born into that feeling.

 

We're born without the negative voice in our head and the voice that says that we need to plan everything the voice that says that we need to worry about things going wrong. That voice that says we need to worry about even dying, all the voice, that's who we who we truly are, is that empty space of love. And so it's like a whiteboard or a blackboard or a blank piece of paper. 

And then all the worries, get written on that and all the need to conform, or the need to fit in, or the need to do what we're told to conform with society, to lots of gender stereotypes, but you know, to be rich, to be successful, to be happy, all those sorts of things. 

When that feeling of love is all we're really after. And that comes from within us. It comes from us. It doesn't come to us. So isn't that lovely? Isn't that lovely to know that we are the blank piece of paper? And not the writing on it? The love rather than the thought. No wonder, this is L we're halfway almost halfway through the A to Z of the alphabet. And here I am. You see, I touch that space of love, now I'm into some kind of analysis and thinking about it and you know, measuring where we are and wasn't it great before I went, that was great. That was great when I was just touching the place of love. So, I hope that's made your day a little bit more lovely. 

The world needs more love. Less fear. We all need to love ourselves a little bit more.  

Simon Benn Children's Happiness Expert

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