Sally's Son Bounces Back
Sally was distraught on our first phone call. Her son Oliver had been such a bright, bubbly fun little boy. But something had gone wrong and she couldn’t put her finger on it. Perhaps it was the new school, the new area they’d moved to or maybe the divorce she’d been through.
Her 8 year old had become very withdrawn, just wanted to play on his PS4. School was ok and he liked playing football there but otherwise he just didn’t want to see friends or spend much time with her.
It was breaking her heart. She didn't know what to do. She was hesitant at first and after a couple of conversations we started working together. She learned how to coach her son using my simple process that focuses on engaging children by talking about what matters to the children. This empowers them since so much of their daily lives is based on fitting in with their school's agenda.
I showed her how to use football as a way to get Oliver to open up and as a Trojan horse to back into how he was feeling. He started to get a handle on how to change his outlook watching a video based on the fun training workshops I've run in schools. They watched the video together. He learned where his feelings really come from and how to change his mood for the better.
But it was doing the fun activities in the book that really lead him to breakthroughs. Now he’s well on his way to being the happy boy he’d been before all the change that had rattled his self-confidence. Sally is a lot happier too because she's got her son back.
Tara's Confidence Returns
When Jane called me she was terrified that her daughter was inheriting her own lack of confidence. She was fraught about the short term impact of this – Tara getting bullied because she was getting very shy and could easily attract bullies at school.
She was also worried about the longer term effects on her daughter’s emotional wellbeing. We started by working on Jane’s self confidence because as she’d realised faking it wasn’t working. I showed her incredible resilince underneath all the self-doubt. She learned how to ignore the negative voice inside her own head that kept on telling her that she wasn't a good enough mum.
Once she’d got a better grounding she introduced Tara to the Jack Cherry comic and lightbulbs started going off. The sensitive 10 year old is now growing in confidence every day. Her self-esteem and self-belief is back. And Jane's life is continuing to get better as her daughter's confidence grows. The family is back on track and it feels great.
Bullies Stop Picking On Amy
John told me he was having a nightmare. His relationship with his ex was terrible and now the relationship with his daughter was looking to go that way too. She was having a terrible time at school with bullies and he couldn’t sort it. She was looking to him to fix the problem but he couldn’t and he was getting more and more riled. He’d wanted to be a better dad than his dad had been for him. But he couldn’t. The headteacher was a nightmare too. He was turning the problem back on John implying in not so many words that Amy was bringing the bullying on herself. He needed to stop the bullying happening. And he needed to help Amy get over it. She needed to see that it wasn’t her fault. But try as he might he couldn’t.
That’s why he called me. We worked together to help him to calm down enough to take what proved to be more effective action with the school so they moved from the bully’s side to John’s side. The bullying eventually petered out and we worked on questions and a coaching technique to help Amy see her perfection and how the others girls had been picking on her because they didn’t like themselves. John and Amy are back to normal!